What happened to asking a girl out?

On a hot summer evening as I was waiting to be dismissed from a community service event, this fine guy came over to talk to me. — This wasn’t the first time we’d talked. Just as I thought we were working up to exchanging numbers, he made a joke about sending me his location to his office. I didn’t know whether to laugh or give him my number. I told him that sending me his location wasn’t going to work in a building with eight floors and over 1,000 individual offices. Needless to say, the conversation ended, we didn’t exchange numbers, and we rarely spoke again for the rest of the summer. All I could think was why didn’t he just ask for my number instead of having an awkward conversation with me for the second time?

In today’s society one might think, “the popularized belief is that if a guy is interested, then he will make it abundantly clear by asking for your number, texting you, or just flat out telling you. If he doesn’t then he is “just not that into you,” says Justin Petrisek, a writer for Verily Magazine. Well, let me just say that it’s been over a year since a guy has asked me out even after I’ve given them my number. 

Some of these guys have double texted, called multiple times a day — even when I don’t answer and have called me pet names. These seem like obvious indicators that these guys are interested, but they don’t take the steps necessary to move forward. Like asking me out on a date or getting to fully know me, instead of asking me what I’m doing seven times a day. 

13Now, I know about half of these guys are probably only interested in a hook up (which I talk about in Sexually Liberated.), but what about the other half? What’s stopping them from making a real move? 

On behalf of the male population, MJ Angel, writer for the Sydney Morning Herald, said that they’ve “become cowards when it comes to approaching the opposite sex” because one, they’ve forgotten how to communicate outside of social media and phones. And two, they fear rejection and “feel that others are watching and judging them in their attempts.” According to Petrisek, “when a man has been turned down in the past, the feeling from that rejection can linger for weeks, months, or maybe even years.”

Gena Kaufman, a writer for Glamour, says that guys may also be holding back, because “he doesn’t feel good enough for you, he has no idea what to say to you, or he’s unsure of whether you’re into him.” 11

Well, guys let me just say this — it royally sucks to feel chemistry with you and then not be asked out. Whether you may fear rejection or don’t know what to say, it’s worth the try because 8/10 we’re waiting for you to make a move.

Some wise and ironic words from someone that I’ve been messaging for the past few days, but has yet to ask me out, “you miss 100% of the shots that you don’t take.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself. So guys if you’re feeling a girl let her know because she’s probably feeling you too, and hey who knows it may turn into something worthwhile.

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